I'll begin by stating the obvious: it's been a while since I've sat down to compose.
I know it's not a great excuse, but my mind has been incredibly busy focusing on work for the past six months. I hate to be that kind of person that pours themselves into their career and doesn't take time for themselves - and that's really not the case since I feel like I have had plenty of me-time - but that's what I've turned into. Scary. And what's even more frightening is this: I love my job.
If you'd asked me two years ago what I'd be doing now, working in retail would have been the last thing I would have imagined. I wanted to teach, to be a role model, to mold impressionable minds, to make lasting impressions. Real life changing stuff, you know? What's heartbreaking is that no matter how strong my desire for teaching was, I felt that I had no control in getting myself into my dream career. Every application I sent was accompanied by the same sense of hope, that maybe this time would be the time, but the due dates for the applications would come and go and the responses were always the same: "Thank you for your interest in working in the ______ School District. We were pleased to have received such an impressive pool of applicants. After a thorough interview and selection process, we have made our hiring decision and the position has been filled." After years of feeling special, like I was someone who could really make a difference, my opinion of myself devolved into feeling as generic as the numerous rejection emails that filled my inbox.
I don't think I'm wrong in saying that teaching is one of the most admirable careers a person could choose. Everyone has come into contact with teachers throughout their lives, and I'd be hard pressed to find someone who, even years after graduating, could not name a teacher that made an impact on them personally. Heck, the reason many young twenty-somethings decide to become teachers is directly due to the fond memories they have of their favorite teacher growing up. Great teachers are the perfect blend of patience, passion, and inspiration, among other intangible qualities. During college, I worked tirelessly on that personality concoction through classes and field experiences, and I began to find that teaching ran naturally through my blood and shone through my soul. Someday I would be the one that students remembered by name, the one that gave them the tough-love and advice that they needed in order to get into college. Yeah, someday...
After I spent longer than the appropriate amount of time wallowing in the fact that I still made an hourly wage as a retail manager with my college degree, I finally realized something that has ultimately changed me for the better. The title of my position and my job description does not define who I am; rather, the traits of my personality that I allow to emerge through my actions and words makes me memorable no matter what profession I am in. Once I embraced my true self (and not the self that those rejection letters made me think I was), I was unstoppably happy. That happiness allowed me to keep an open mind to new possibilities, ultimately leading me to pursue and attain the new position that I am about to take starting Monday as I climb the retail management ladder one rung higher.
No one will argue that working in retail takes patience, but there are some who will surely question whether retail jobs include passion and inspiration. After all, the business world is cold cut and hard, focused solely on constant company improvements and the almighty dollar. Am I really going to go to work at Target and feel passionate about selling accessories for electronics? No. Will my interactions with guests leave myself and the guests inspired to make drastic changes in their lives? Of course not. Selling accessories is not like analyzing a piece of English literature, and guests are not people that I work with day in and day out in a confined classroom space. But during my eight years at my (now) old Target store, I have become intensely close to my coworkers in a way that I could never be with students. I have passion for working with amazing people and taking partnerships with those who I also call my friends. And for my electronics team, my business goals were always given through messages tied to the greater good, and for that I was called "inspirational", the greatest compliment I could think to receive.
I'm starting a new job on Monday, and although it will not be in a classroom like I may have thought two years ago, my attitude is bright about what I'm getting myself into. I love my job because I love that I can be my true self, full of patience, passion, and (when I'm lucky) a bit of inspiration. :)
